Filed under: Uncategorized
I think I have amnesia.
I forget things all the time.
I forget things right after they happen.
I forget miraculous things.
I forget all the things that God has done for me, the things He has saved me from so far.
I forget that He died just so He could be with me.
I forget that He has shaped history just so I would be alive right now, right here.
I forget that (most likely) He created the coffee bean plant just for me!
I forget that He made sure I was born into my family; so, I can live my life having learned from an amazing spiritual legacy.
I forget that during at least 3 different points in my life, God has kept me alive when the situation could have easily killed me.
See, I must have amnesia if I am able forget all these things God has done.
And I must be able to forget because I keep worrying about my future.
So, what do you need to remember?
Filed under: fellowship, switch | Tags: gospel, life, students, switch, truth
I have been having a few conversations lately with this guy and a few other leaders from this place about our ministry and our students. He asked a good question today,
“If you knew this Wednesday was the last time you had with the students at Switch, what would you do? Would you do something differently?”
It made me think. What are my priorities? Am I more concerned about comfort than leading? Do I care more about them liking me than I do about sharing the truth? I don’t think I like the answers.
The truth is, I tiptoe around things too often. I often get so worried about my relationship with students that I don’t want to offend them. The problem is, the truth is offensive. Christ offended. He loved wholly, but he did offend. In fact, our very faith is offensive. We worship a God that came to earth to be condemned and executed as a criminal. That isn’t easy to swallow.
Truth offends. It hurts because it has a way of cutting into all of those dark spots where deception and sin lurk. It hurts to hear that you are wrong, even when you already know. The truth offends but it also sets free. It is my duty (and my blessing) to show these students the way to their freedom in Christ. For them to be free, they must be told the truth.
Oh, and go see Patrick’s thoughts here.
So, what is your focus? What would you do?
So, I am at a loss. You get to help me think through a situation. Talk about being transparent!
I have a flaw. I am a bit of a control freak. No, really, I just NEED to know everything. I absolutely hate uncertainty. I want to know the game plan. I want to know the purpose of everything and everyone in my life. I KNOW! This isn’t possible, nor is it how God wants me to live. I am tearing this need apart piece by piece these days. So, here comes the fun part…
So, there is this boy. Wait, strike that! There is this man. I have been spending quite a bit of time with him lately. He is a good, Life Church going, follower of Christ.
I love spending time with him in a bunch of ways. He makes me laugh. He is a responsible grown up (this is a new thing to me!). He respects me. He pays attention to what I say and calls just to ask how things are going. He even calls me every Monday to see how my lifegroup went. He remembers my Switch girls and asks about them BY NAME! The first conversation we ever had was about church and the message that weekend. He asks me what I think about things Craig says each time we talk. He knew me way back in the bad old days. I love that I have this inability to shock him or disappoint him. He has already seen me at my worst. I even love the way we crossed paths again (it’s a good story!). That being said…
I hate that he has seen me at my worst. I don’t like that he knows what I used to be. I don’t like having this link back to that life. It creeps me out. I love being comfortable, but I want someone to be wowed by me. I just don’t see how anyone who knew THAT Hope could ever be wowed by me. I knew him way back in the bad old days too. It makes it hard for me to trust him sometimes. It would be so easy to fall back into those old patterns with each other.
People have asked about the situation, and they take my uncertainty as an answer in and of itself. I am not so sure. I am uncertain. I am confused. We are keeping things very first gear, but I don’t know how to do that. I haven’t had right relationships since high school. I have forgotten how this works. I don’t want to fill my time, fill that space just because I am lonely.
On the other hand, I am trying VERY hard to go with the flow and stop trying know every step of the plan. I don’t know. For once, I am trying to rest in the fact that I don’t need to know, but I want to SO BADLY.
SO… Help?! I need some wisdom here!
